We can blame the weatherman for being wrong about predicting the weather but we generally don’t carry that blame with us because we know that there’s really nothing we or the weatherman can do to control Mother Nature.

 

Still, we project into the future based on scientific reasoning, pre-programming and past conditions just as the weatherman but when we’re wrong we blame ourselves for it not working out as predicted and we carry that around with us, potentially forever.

 

Another example is blaming our spouse for booking summer vacation during a rainy week. We don’t want to give up the bad feelings because we prefer living in the past and the future instead of living now.

 

She should have (fill in the blank) known the weather would be bad… 

I would have done it differently… 

We could have had a wonderful time instead this sucks… 

 

We don’t want the burden of self-responsibility. When we’re self-responsible we miss out on blaming others and shaming ourselves. How can we be more kind to ourselves and our loved ones? We want control over the situation we have no power over. However, we have control of our thoughts and perceptions about a situation.

 

The future hasn’t arrived and the past is past. We can live now because that is all there really is.